Matt

And so I always wanted to be a musician. A musician in a band and maybe also just a musician on my own. But the sadness is I was never able enough at any instrument let alone singing. These days, I have two guitars propped up against each other, and sometimes I will pick one of them up, note that it is grubbily out of tune and twang at it for a while. I write one song a year and it is generally the same.

A friend of mine told me last night that he had been jealous recently of musicians that he had been spending time with. He envied their lifestyle. He liked what sort of people they were. He enjoyed their company. I thought of my good friend, Matt, who is a musician. He has always been one, but has fought to be one too, and now really is one, as that is all he does. He has battled for it to become his job.

Since it has become his job, he has bought better clothes and watched more films, I think. I see him much less often now, but when I do, I feel slightly in awe, I don't know why. I suppose it is because he has done something that wouldn't exist if he weren't doing it. How many of us can say that? His band are called The Fallout Trust and they have made a very good song that is out on Monday 31st October. It plays here: www.thefallouttrust.com.

When I am some years older, I will buy a saxophone and learn to play it. I will make recordings, I will make things that no one else could have made. There has to be some room for this somewhere in life.